Katrina's birth

It was awesome. We decided after Louis' birth to try for a less medically influenced pregnancy and birth. So we were thrilled to find out that about 30 minutes away, they were building the first freestanding birth center ever in Nebraska. I called and talked to them about Louis' birth and after they talked about it, they called back and let me know that they would take me as a patient. Yay!

So the pregnancy has been very uneventful. I even was consistent about taking my vitamins and iron pills. And making sure I had a healthier diet, including lots of protein. And chasing 2 kids helped with the exercise.

At 41 weeks things seemed to be not going anywhere fast. I had some minor contractions off and on for about a month, but nothing that indicated true labor. Then I got Louis out of his crib at about 8:45am. I felt a little leaking. Maybe my water broke. I called my midwife and she said when the contractions start to hurt and are more consistent to come in to the birth center. Contractions did start to pick up in frequency and intensity. But still not labor feeling ones. Sometimes they would be 10 minutes apart, sometimes 45 minutes apart. Cleaned the house, called Charlie to let him know it might be today, called my dad (my backup babysitter since mom had school that day). Chatted with friends and family throughout the day.
About 5pm my midwife called to check on things and asked me to come in to check if my water did break. The kids were still sleeping so I called Charlie and he finished up his work and came home. The kids woke up, I got them ready and we waited for Charlie to come home. We all hopped in the van , drove to the birth center, and got there around 6:30pm. The midwife checked and my water was still intact, but I was at 5 1/2 cm and 90% effaced. So she told us to have supper and stay near by, unless we wanted to have the baby in the car. (we live 30 minutes away from the birth center)
We walked down to a pizza place that was a few spaces down from the birth center. Started calling the parents and letting them know it was probably tonight. Ordered pizza and relaxed between contractions, which were still 10-15 min apart. Then my mom called at about 7:30pm, she was done with school and was headed home. We hung up and the contractions started coming every 5 minutes. It was time. I called her back and asked my parents to come get the kids since I thought it was a bad idea to wander too far away from the birth center. Called the midwife and she said to walk around a bit and she would finish up her supper and meet us there soon.
So we walked around outside and waited for my parents and the midwife. My parents got there around 8 and by 8:15 the midwife arrived. She checked me again and I was up to 8cm. (!) It still didn't hurt as much as I remembered. Through contractions I rocked, listened to my iPod and hummed. She started the water for the tub and I continued to pace around the building waiting for the tub and my doula/childhood friend. But before I started pacing, I cried a bit. Some happy tears of joy, thankfulness and relief. This was going much better than Louis' birth and even better than I had planned and hoped. We had a short "thank you" prayer session. Anglea (doula/friend) got there shortly after that and I climbed into the tub. The next 2 hours were spent moving and humming during contractions. Talking and laughing when contractions were not happening. (which was pretty crazy, I had heard of the break in between contractions but don't remember experiencing them with the other two births) The midwife was totally laid back and they monitored baby and me to make sure everything was still going smoothly. I could feel Katrina moving down the birth canal (another birth first). I asked the midwife if she wanted to check where the baby was, she said "no, you will tell us when it is pushing time". Gotta say, it was a little strange to be in labor and not be told what to do and when to do it. But I loved it. Sure enough when Katrina was ready to be pushed out, I felt it and told the midwife I was ready. I moved to a more comfortable position, and paced myself on the pushing. I tore with both kids and was not interested in tearing again. So I would push a little and then let baby's head stretch everything while I would just breathe. It paid off. I know I said not a nice word, prayed out load and said "I can't do this" during the pushing. Crazy the emotions pain puts you through. After about 5 pushes, there she was. Charlie caught her and cut the cord once it stopped pulsing. We had 5 hours of relaxing, Charlie slept and we did all the mandatory tests. Then we went home. It was so nice to be in our own beds. And the kiddos were in there room sleeping (my dad took them to our house for bedtime, smart move) When we all woke up, Charlie brought them into our room and they got to meet their baby sister. It was a very sweet moment. That is pretty much it. If anyone has questions, let me know and I will try to answer them as best as I can remember. :-)
Oh, one more super amazing thing. God planned it that the nurse that I had with this birth was the midwife who delivered Louis. I always liked her and had absolutely no issues with her when it came to his birth. She was super sweet and tried to help as much as she could with his birth. It was cool, as she walked into the bathroom for Katrina's birth she said, "I remember you. Your liver went crazy, right?". We talked for a bit about his birth and she apologized for how it went and talked to us about what happened and why things went the way they did. It cleared up a few things and it was just nice to have someone who was there say "That sucked". Even though I am sure I am not completely done with dealing with that struggle, I am also sure that God used having that nurse there to help me get over some of my issues. That and having the birth go so well has made me so very thankful that God not only will give us what we ask for, but likes to "wow" us with how kind He is.

Katrina

Katrina Jane was born 2.22.12. A whopping 8lb 8oz, 21 1/2 in. She is a healthy baby girl who seems to be very chill. :-) Birth story to follow soon.

fear

Yup. As this little one inside of me has been growing, kicking and living my struggle has been fear. Fear for baby's general health (a common fear, I have been told), fear of having 3 children, ect... All the "normal" fears. But the biggest one I have dealt with if the fear of having a scary labor like last time. I am not afraid of the pain (though I am not looking forward to it). I am not afraid of complications (though I am praying that all will go smoothly and without complications). No, my fear is of the unknown. The doctor's never really gave a concrete answer as to what went "wrong" with Louis' birth. Other than my one high blood pressure, everything seemed fine. Until they did the blood test. Then it showed that things were not as fine as they seemed. Even at this point I was still not scared. They put me on medication and I thought everything would be done and over soon. And it was, considering the interventions.
My other thing that still bothers me about the situation is the deceptions or lack of knowledge on the doctors' parts. The medication they gave me is used to stop ladies who are in pre-term labor from progressing in their labor. But when we asked if it was going to slow or stop labor, we were told "No."
We had just moved back to the area after being in Wisconsin for 6 months, and before that we lived in Maryland for a couple of years. So I felt very alone. Even though I "grew up" in Nebraska. I was still starting over. I left as a newly married kid and came back a married lady with a baby and another on the way.
It was rough. It affected my heart and mind. I have a hard time trusting that God will be kind with this labor. I argue with Matthew 6 when it says that my worrying will not add an hour to my life, I think "Yeah, it will. And this is why...". I freak over every "not normal" symptom. I research every symptom. (google is not my friend. every symptom can be a pregnancy symptom, or you will die in 2.5 seconds) I ask my mom (a nursing student), my midwife and my doula/birth-nut friend every question I can think of asking. I borrowed and read every birth book that I thought would help.
My battle for faith has been rocky. God keeps reminding me that He is faithful. He was faithful in bringing me to Nebraska as a teen, every church change, bringing Charlie into my life, my parents' separation, my dad's salvation and transformation, my salvation, our move to Maryland, our marriage, Anne's pregnancy and birth, our move back to the midwest, ect... And those are the bullet points of the past 15-ish years.
I am bringing it to Jesus in prayer. Prayer is not my natural default. But He is the only One who can change how things go and the only One who can change my heart and give me more faith.
God is helping me be open with my struggle. Telling our missional community (church small group). Sharing it with my friends and family. And in turn they tell me Truth, pray for me, and just listen to me rant and cry. And of course sharing it with Charlie. He gets the brunt of the tears.
So, this is my struggle. Our missional community prayed for us this past week. It is a blessing to know that we have friends who are taking our cares to the One who is in charge and cares for us more than we can imagine.

Happy 2nd birthday Louis!

Merry Christmas from the Jacksons